Allen Lee Murray
"Gone, But Never Forgotten"
Please feel free to light a candle and/or leave a tribute.
"TO LIVE IN THE HEARTS
OF THOSE WE LOVE
IS NEVER TO DIE."
Sunrise - 8/25/54
Sunset - 7/26/05
I LOVE YOU DAD, NOW AND FOREVER!
"It is not length of life,
but depth of life."
Thanks to Jayne for this wonderful graphic above.
This website is created in memory of one of the greatest men that I ever had the privilege of knowing, my Dad, Al Murray. He was born on August 25, 1954 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Dale and Katie Murray, and was taken from us much to soon on July 26, 2005. Dad was a wonderful man and loved so many things in life. He was an excellent and loving Dad to me, Season Danielle and Brienn Alena. He also was the proud Pop-Pop to my girls, Ashley Star and Heather Sierra. He is loved and missed by many, including Sue Myers (fiance'), our Mom, Julie Murray (former wife) and many other family and friends. He was a loyal Harley-Davidson guy and was the proud owner of one since the age of sixteen. Dad loved fishing, cooking, bird watching, gardening, along with many other things. He was also the ultimate handyman and could do or fix just about anything. Dad died in his sleep the night of July 25, 2005 very unexpectedly. The cause of his death we later found out was "Hypertensive Heart Disease." He was in fairly good health. He had asthma and high blood pressure since I was little, but nothing that was to overly concerning. My sister was in the process of moving back in with our Dad and they both were so excited about it. I was preparing for my wedding which was on July 30, 2005, just four days after losing my Dad. I was so thrilled to be getting married. I have been with my now husband Jeff for nine years before getting married, and for the first about five or so years my Dad hated Jeff with a passion, but in the last few years Jeff grew up, was more mature and suitable in the eyes of my Dad to be with me. Dad and Jeff got to know each other pretty well and enjoyed each others company. Whenever Dad came over he actually spent more time talking to Jeff then to me. I decided to go on with the wedding instead of putting it off to a later date, and how I wish that Dad could have been there to walk me down the aisle and dance together to the Father/Daughter dance. My wedding, along with all the anniversaries to come will never be as happy as they should be, for that date goes hand in hand with losing my Dad. Losing him and having to decide on all the details that go along with a funeral was by far the hardest thing that I will ever have to do. I shouldn't have had to do that until I was at least fifty. I will never be the same person I was before July 26th, for a part of me is now missing. Dad tried so hard to give us a great life, and though I didn't appreciate it all the time then, I sure do now, and I know that everything he did was for us. I hope I make you proud Dad, because I for one can say I am proud to have you for a Dad. I love you more than words can say and hope you are at peace. I promise to love and honor you everyday of my life. You may be gone from this Earth, but you will never be gone in my heart, for as long as I shall live, so will you.
I wish you would not be afraid to speak my loved one's name. They lived and were important, and I need to hear their name.
If I cry and get emotional if we talk about my loved one, I wish you knew that it isn't because you hurt me; the fact that they died causes my tears. You have allowed me to cry and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.
I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn't think that if I have a good cry my grief is over, or that if I have a bad day I need psychiatric counseling.
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic for me. As with alcoholics, I will never be "cured" or a "formerly bereaved", but forevermore be recovering from the bereavement.
I wish you'd understand the physical reaction to grief. I may gain weight, lose weight, sleep all the time or not at all, develop a host of illnesses and be accident prone, all of which are related to my grief.
My loved one's birthday, the anniversary of their death and the holidays can be terrible times for me. I wish you would tell me that you are thinking of me and them on these days. And if I get quiet and withdrawn, just know that I am thinking about them and don't try to coerce me into being cheerful.
I wish you wouldn't offer to take me out for a drink, or to a party, this is just a temporary crutch and the only way I can get through this grief is to experience it. I have to hurt before I can heal.
I wish you'd understand that grief changes people. I am not the same person I was before my beloved died and I am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values and beliefs. Please try to get to know me--I am the one who'll be here from now on.
~ Dad's resting place at Woodlawn Cemetery ~
-Eulogy written by Sue Norton-
A daughter needs a Dad to remind her of the comfort of being held close and feeling safe and secure...
To all the relatives and friends of Al that are here...
I'm speaking on behalf of Season, Brienn and Dale. First, I would like to express their deep gratitude that so many people made the effort to be here to help them through this very painful time. And I am proud and honored to be able to talk about Al and what he meant to so many of us, especially his daughters.
It is always hard to know what to say at a time like this. It's especially hard now, because Al was a young man and had so much to look forward to. His loved ones wish he'd had another 50 years. But, even though Al was taken way too soon, he did accomplish a lot in his time and left the world a better place for his having been here.
Different people will remember Al in different ways. His colleagues at C&H will remember that he was a loyal employee for over 25 years. Al was an expert fisherman, and some of you will think of him every time you see a fishing boat. He was also a superb cook, and I wish I had his recipe for jumbo shrimp wrapped in bacon. He was the ultimate handyman, if you ever needed something fixed, or something done, you could always rely on Al to know what to do. He was a devoted buddy to his dog Jakeand sometimes said, "Jake is the only one that ever listened to me." He still missed his late Mom Katie and thought the world of his Dad Dale. And (wish we had engines revving), Al was the ultimate Harley-Davidson guy. Please remember him every time you hear a Harley.
All of these things by themselved made for a full, busy life. But in addition to everything else he did, Al's proudest accomplishment, by far, was being a father to his two girls. To them, he was a hero. What is a Dad? Al Murray. For Al's daughter, he always had the safest lap and the strongest shoulders...he might have looked like a gruff Harley guy, but he always found time to play "My Little Pony" or take a little girl to see "Bambi." He was the Dad who found a play hammer and a rag so Season could work on her toy Harley while he worked on his real Harley. He was the Dad who protected them from scary thunderstorms and chased away the monsters from bad dreams. He was the Dad who cried with pride when Brienn graduated from Pius with honors. And he was the Dad who was watching from Heaven Saturday when Season and Jeff got married.
Season and Brienn have conducted themselves with incredible diginity and courage during this unspeakably difficult week. That all by itself is a tremendous credit to their father and the strength and security he instilled in them. And before this week began, and after this week is done, they are always a credit to their beloved father. Season is happily married and a wonderful, hard-working mother of two little girls. Brienn is an excellent student and working towards a career in nursing.
Al's greatest joy was always his daughters and, starting with Ashley's birth five years ago, his granddaughters. The first time he held baby Ashley, he wouldn't let her out of his lap. The first time someone called him "Grandpa Murray," he looked around for his own Dad and then remembered that he was blessed with grandchildren. Two more little girls to snuggle in Pop-Pop's big, safe, lap, and rest on his big, strong shoulders.
The greatest gift you can give Season and Brienn right now is to share your memories of Al. They hope you can help Ashley and Heather understand what a wonderful Dad they had.
A daughter needs a Dad who will influence her life even when he isn't with her...
Al, we will miss you terribly. Be at peace.
If tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you care for me, and how much I care for you,
and each time that you think of me I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready in Heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all my life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for a while,
I'd say goodbye and hug you, and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow.
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you,
today your life on earth is past but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
and since each day's the same, there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn't do.
And you have been forgiven and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand and share my life with me?"
So if tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, please know I'm in your heart.
Our Family Chain
We little knew that morning,
that God would call your name.
In life we loved you dearly;
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
but you did not go alone,
for part of us went with you
the day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
your love is still our guide,
and though we cannot see you,
you are always by our side.
Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.
To those I love and those you love me.
When I am gone, release me.
Let me go, I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears,
be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love, you can only guess,
how much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
but now it's time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,
then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It's only for a while that we must part,
so bless the memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on,
for if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can not see or touch me, I'll be near,
and if you listen with your heart,
you'll hear all of my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and say "Welcome Home."
~FOREVER FATHER AND SON~
Remember me when flowers bloom early in the Spring.
Remember me on sunny days in the fun that Summer brings.
Remember me in the Fall as you walk through leaves of gold.
And remember me in the Winter time in the stories that are told.
But most of all remember each day-right from the start.
I will be forever near, for I live within your heart.
--- I'm not by any means a religious person, and I'm not quite sure what I believe happens when someone passes away, but I would like to believe that there is a Heaven and that my Dad is there now reuniting with his Mom, who he lost when I was only a baby. I hope everyday that this is true and that one day when it is time for me to go, I will be going to my Dad and will once again get to see his face and hug him and tell him all the things I wish I had when he was here. "Hoping" in a Heaven is part of what gets me through each day, knowing that after all the grief that there will be happiness when I reunite with my Dad. --
Don't think of him as gone away,
his journey's just begun,
life holds so many facets
this Earth is only one.
Just think of him as resting
from the sorrow and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort,
where there are no days or years.
Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched,
for nothing loved is ever lost,
and he was loved so much.
Thanks to Julie for the graphic above.
What Makes A Dad
A Dad is a person
Who is loving and kind,
And often he knows
What you have on your mind.
He’s someone who listens,
Suggests, and defends.
A dad can be one
Of your very best friends.
He’s proud of your triumphs,
But when things go wrong,
A dad can be patient
And helpful and strong
In all that you do,
A dad’s love plays a part.
There’s always a place for him
Deep in your heart.
And each year that passes,
You’re even more glad,
More grateful and proud
Just to call him your Dad.
Thank you, Dad…
For listening and caring,
For giving and sharing,
But especially, just for having been you.
I love you Dad, always and forever.
Don't Grieve For Me
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free;
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call,
I turned my back and I left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work, or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found my place at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
Memories shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah, yes, these things I, too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow;
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full; I savored much
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief;
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now; He set me free.
No man is indispensable, but some are irreplaceable.
"You don't get over it, you just get through
it. You don't get by it, because you can't
get around it. It doesn't 'get better'; it just
gets different. Every day...grief puts on a
Perhaps they are not the stars,
but rather openings in Heaven
where the love of our lost ones
shines down to let us know
they are with us.
Thanks again to Jayne for this above graphic.
A candle that will forever burn in memory of my Dad.
No one knows when their time will come, so please make sure to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. Treat everyday as if it were the last.
If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
to bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say "goodbye."
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
no one will ever know.
If Tomorrow Starts Without Me
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.
The Greatest Gift We Ever Had Came From God And We Call Him Dad
"Life is not measured but the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."
NO WORDS I WRITE CAN EVER SAY
HOW MUCH I MISS YOU EVERY DAY.
AS TIME GOES BY, THE LONELINESS GROWS;
HOW I MISS YOU, NOBODY KNOWS!
I THINK OF YOU IN SILENCE,
I OFTEN SPEAK YOUR NAME,
BUT ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES
AND PHOTOS IN A FRAME.
NO ONE KNOWS MY SORROW,
NO ONE SEES ME WEEP,
BUT THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU
IS IN MY HEART TO KEEP.
I'VE NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU
I'M SURE I NEVER WILL;
DEEP INSIDE MY HEART,
YOU ARE WITH ME STILL.
HEARTACHES IN THIS WORLD ARE MANY
BUT MINE IS WORSE THAN ANY.
MY HEART STILL ACHES AS I WHISPER LOW,
"I NEED YOU AND I MISS YOU SO."
THE THINGS WE FEEL SO DEEPLY
ARE OFTEN THE HARDEST TO SAY,
BUT I JUST CAN'T KEEP QUIET ANY MORE,
SO I'LL TELL YOU ANYWAY.
THERE IS A PLACE IN MY HEART
THAT NO ONE ELSE CAN FILL,
I LOVE YOU SO, DAD
AND I ALWAYS WILL.
Another very special thank you to Julie for the above graphic.
I Stood By Your Bed
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, you were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over...I smile and watch you yawning and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.
I would like to say a very special thank you to Delia Beggs for the wonderful graphics and pictures that she has made.
Another special thank you goes out to Nancy Davis for more of the wonderful pictures and graphics.
Background music info and lyrics :
Diamond Rio - I Believe
Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again
And it's like you haven't been gone a moment from my side
Like the tears were never cried
Like the hands of time are holding you and me
And with all my heart I'm sure we're closer than we ever were
I don't have to hear or see, I've got all the proof I need
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, I believe
That when you die your life goes on
It doesn't end here when you're gone
Every soul is filled with light
It never ends and if I'm right
Our love can even reach across eternity
I believe, I believe
Forever, you're a part of me
Forever, in the heart of me
And I'll hold you even longer if I can
The people who don't see the most
Say that I believe in ghosts
And if that makes me crazy, then I am
'Cause I believe
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, I believe